Toxic relationships & oxytocin - you need to read this
Ever heard of the ‘cuddle chemical?
In today’s blog we are looking at all things oxytocin and the role it plays in toxic relationships.
Here’s what our Head Psychologist, Dr Tari Mack, had to say:
The ‘Cuddle Chemical’
“Oxytocin is called the ‘cuddle chemical’, because it is released, for example, when a mother cuddles her baby or when we are affectionate and cuddling or having sex with somebody we're in a romantic partnership with, or even somebody that we're having sex with but not in a romantic partnership with.”
Oxytocin, Connection & Trust
“When we have a physical connection with someone, if we're sleeping with them, if we're cuddling them, the ‘cuddle chemical’ is released - it not only promotes connection but also trust.
So this is why if we have a physical connection with someone and then they cheat on us or treat us horribly, we will still be likely to trust them and continue to trust them because of this ‘cuddle chemical.’
We want them back. We want that fix of the oxytocin and then also the dopamine.”
Dopamine and Oxytocin
“These two chemicals are keeping us in this relationship that objectively we know is toxic but we don't want to know that because it feels SO DAMN GOOD….when it's good. It's horrifically painful when it's bad, but we're always waiting for the next good part.”
The OPENHOUSE Podcast with Louise Rumball
In Episode 17 of the OPENHOUSE Podcast, we dive into all things ‘bad boys’ and explore the psychological, emotional, physiological, and chemical reasons that underlie our attraction to ‘bad boys’ [or girls] and how it can actually be an addiction that we’re not aware of.
LOUISE RUMBALL & DR TARI MACK go deeper into:
What is intermittent reinforcement?;
The cocktail of chemicals at play;
How to break this cycle & level up to reach a new pool of potential partners; and
The angry man - and why sometimes we’re attracted to this.
Louise also shares her own personal dating stories, particularly:
Her experience of dating bad boys - including someone that later got sentenced to five years in prison; and
Why she is now not as interested by bad boys.
You can find the episode on SPOTIFY HERE or APPLE PODCASTS here.
Let us know how you enjoyed the episode and be sure to share this on social media, as well as giving us a rating and review on Apple or Spotify.
