Why didn’t Kourtney Kardashian end up with Scott Disick?
We asked our founder, Louise, what she thought about the whole Scott and Kourtney situation, as well as head therapist, clinical psychologist and celebrity relationship expert, Dr Tari Mack, her thoughts on the situation from a therapist’s perspective.
This is what they had to say below.
Louise Rumball on Kourtney, Scott & Travis:
Looking at Kourtney, it is clear from just watching any of the early Kardashian series, that she spent 10+ years in a relationship with someone that was often chaotic, unstable and erratic. It's not to say that Scott didn't have good traits too or isn't a good Father or co-parent but, ultimately, in romantic terms, it was not a reliable and/or consistent relationship - both of which are traits of a healthy relationship.
Looking back at Kourtney's behaviour, we can see that she loved Scott, cared about him and initially wanted to make things work. However, despite giving him so many chances, Scott's repeated inability to break his own behavioural cycles became too much for Kourtney. After accepting a very hot and cold love for many many years, after going on a month-long partying binge without coming home, Kourtney decided that he was not being a good partner, she could not rely on him 'for even one single thing', and she did not want to model to her children that that was okay. She broke up with Scott.
Since splitting up with Scott, we have seen Kourtney undergo a total transformation - starting her own global wellness brand (Poosh), travelling a lot, making new friends (Addison Rae, etc) - as well starting on a major therapy journey - seeing a therapist twice a week for double sessions, and really working on her emotional health.
We call this 'doing the work' and no doubt this intensive therapy journey allowed her to look backwards - starting to understand why she accepted Scott's behaviour for so long and didn't leave sooner, as well as looking forward to how she could break those cycles and beliefs she was holding, in order to meet a partner that holds different, more healthy and favourable traits.
Once you start to break your own cycles and understand why you are accepting a certain type of love, as well as taking an active and conscious decision to end a relationship, even if it is a very difficult thing to do, it opens up the space for you to call in a new, often more healthy and reliable love. For Kourtney, she probably thought that what she had was 'love' for many many years, until she met Travis. Now, she understands that this is a different, more mature, healthier and happier type of love.
We are seeing Kourtney in a different light than we have ever seen her before. She is charismatic, confident, emotionally expressive and often very overly sexual with Travis - traits that we never saw surfacing with Scott (where she was instead quite cold, emotionally distant and often unhappy). Ultimately, this shows us that she feels very safe with him - because it is when you feel ultimately very safe in a partnership that you can express yourself fully - both verbally and physically.
For me, it's clear that Kourtney has just grown up emotionally, got to know herself better, and broken her own cycles. This doesn't take away at all from the years that Kourtney spent with Scott. They are, in fact, absolutely pivotal to her emotional development, because, not only did her relationship with Scott give her three amazing kids, but the relationship also acted as a vehicle to show her what she doesn't want in her 'forever' partnership. She has exited the relationship a totally different person to the person she entered it into, more trusting, with better boundaries and more able to receive and give love.
It's beautiful to see Kourtney develop over time and that she has moved into alignment with herself and found a partner who can give her what she wants, and deserves.
No matter the length, not every relationship is meant to be a forever relationship. Ultimately, they all take us to where we need to go.
Dr Tari Mack, Clinical Psychologist, on Kourtney & Scott
I totally agree! Oftentimes, we need to experience relationships that don’t work for us to understand more fully what our actual needs and desires are in a relationship. Our romantic relationships are really vehicles for us to come into greater alignment with who we really are, to help us grow in ways we need to grow, and to heal old wounds and patterns from childhood. We may spend years trying to make it work with someone because we love them, but ultimately we discover the relationship is not aligned with our true needs, values and desires. That relationship is never really about the outcome - it’s not that we were meant to end up with that person. That relationship is often a teacher for us although we never realize that at the time. So when we finally let go of a relationship that is not aligned with us, don’t flow easily, don’t honor us, or don’t make us feel good, we clear space for a new a more aligned relationship to enter our lives. And we meet a partner who is ready to build something beautiful with us. It often doesn’t take long for us to realize THIS is the partner and the relationship we’ve been preparing for. And that that long, often misaligned relationship before this one was really just an important stepping stone to THIS healthier and more joyful relationship.
We often stay stuck in the wrong relationship because we fear being alone, or worry that we won’t find another relationship. But staying stuck in the wrong relationship delays our movement toward actual love and block our way. And as I always tell the women I work with: There is ALWAYS another relationship. Always. We have to let go of the wrong relationship to create room for the right relationship. And there is always a better relationship waiting if we have the courage to move toward it. Fear is what keeps us stuck. I'm glad Kourtney didn't let fear keep her with Scott for more years. She would have missed out on this relationship with Travis!
Psychologically, after we’ve tried to make it work with the wrong partner for a long time, we have a better understanding of how we want to feel in a relationship, how we want to show up, and what works for us. When we finally let go of the wrong relationship (even if we really wanted it to work), we often meet someone who is more compatible for us in life and we feel this pretty quickly. The contrast between being with someone who is not compatible with us versus being with someone who IS compatible with us is like night and day.
The OPENHOUSE Podcast with Louise Rumball
In Episode 15 of the OPENHOUSE Podcast, we looked at Scott - discussing all things breakups as we shine a light on what we know Scott Disick might be feeling.
We dive into what to do when you feel like someone has got away, the different stages of a breakup and how to truly move through the relationships that we think we can never get over.
LOUISE RUMBALL & DR TARI MACK go deeper into:
Why heartbreak can be worse than grieving the loss of somebody who died;
Dr. Tari’s insight into why, if there’s been a breakup, that’s a clear indication that they are not your person;
The psychology behind connection and closure - and why you do NOT need it in the way you think you do; and
How to handle unhealthy coping mechanisms and why it’s important to stay in our power during a break up.
Scott choosing people that are at the same emotional maturity level as him;
The different stages of a break up; and
Why a relationship is never about the other person.
Louise also shares her own personal dating stories, particularly:
Her last breakup; and
Her healing journey post breakup and what she’s most proud of.
Let us know how you enjoyed the episode and be sure to share this on social media, as well as giving us a rating and review on Apple or Spotify.
You can find the episode on SPOTIFY HERE or APPLE PODCASTS here.
To book a discounted relationship reading with Dr Tari Mack, head to HTTP://DRTARIMACK.COM/
In this reading you will discover:
-Your Unconscious Attraction
-Your Relationship Blindspots
- Exactly What Your "Work" Looks Like
- How You May Be Using Outdated Coping and Protective Strategies from childhood that push away love instead of calling it in and allowing it to grow.
Quote OPENHOUSE for a discounted session that might just change your life!
