how to support a depressed and heavy nervous system
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Let’s talk about a nervous system existing in freeze mode. This isn’t just feeling tired or having a rough day—this is when your nervous system has been pushed beyond its limit, and instead of doing, doing, doing, it says, nope, no more, and enters a state of really what feels like shutdown. This is when everything feels heavy, like a "I wanna stay in bed all day" kind of heavy—and pushing through feels really, hard. Sometimes, it can feel like you’re trapped in your body, unable to move forward, or like it’s not doing what it needs to do and the world’s advice to just "power through" only leaves you feeling worse because WOW, if only they knew. .
In freeze mode, your nervous system is not just tired; it’s overwhelmed. Polyvagal Theory explains that when you’ve been under intense or prolonged stress (which causes our body to shift into the fight or flight state of our nervous system and pump out lots of stress hormones), your body essentially hits a point where it shuts down to protect itself. Instead of staying in the fight-or-flight mode, you and your nervous system then shift into Dorsal Vagal Shutdown which is also known as the freeze state. It’s the body’s way of saying, we can’t sustain this anymore. Freeze mode can often be better understood when you understand it as an ‘energy problem’. The body is saying ‘we don’t have enough energy to continue so we are going to shut down to try and survive. When you're in this space, it’s important to acknowledge that you’re not lazy, you’re not weak—your body is really in survival mode.
so, what next?
There’s a lot of advice out there about how to push yourself out of freeze mode, but often it’s not helpful. Here’s how to actually support your nervous system when you’re in freeze mode:
Start Small, Really Small
First things first: if you’re in freeze, even a 10-second practice is a win. Trying to force yourself into doing too much, too fast or too soon may only make things worse and can push you into harder freeze. Your body is already protecting you by shutting down, so meet yourself where you're at. Maybe today all you can do is take three deep breaths (focusing on the exhale being longer than the inhale) or roll your shoulders three times—and that’s enough. Tomorrow, maybe you’ll do a little more. This isn’t about breaking through barriers; it’s about nurturing yourself back to life in tiny, manageable steps that tell your nervous system that it is okay.
next, ask for help
Explain to a friend or loved one what is going on with your nervous system. Having the right language from this blog post article can help you understand what is going on. Explain to them that you may need some time as you work through this, because everything feels a little heavier for you right now.
Ditch the Shame, Embrace the Grace
Shaming yourself out of this state isn’t the solution. Your body is in freeze mode because it’s been overwhelmed by stress hormones for too long. The way forward is by giving yourself grace and compassion. You're not lazy, and you're not failing. Trust that your body is doing what it believes it needs to do to survive, and take it one gentle step at a time.
Avoid High-Intensity Exercise
It’s tempting to think that a high-intensity workout will snap you out of freeze mode, but often, it can do more harm than good. Pushing your body to sprint, lift, or shake might work in the short term, but it can deepen the shutdown over time. The same goes for intense breathwork—too much stimulation can leave you feeling agitated and even more frozen. Instead, opt for slow, gentle, fluid, embodied movement, such as stretching or taking a slow walk. This kind of movement soothes the nervous system rather than shocking it. It helps re-affirm that you are safe, rather than unsafe.
Wrap Yourself in Warmth
A "frozen" nervous system needs love and warmth. It’s frozen because the world feels emotionally ‘cold’ and unsafe. Wrapping yourself in warmth, whether it’s a blanket, a warm bath, or simply sitting in the sun, is deeply soothing to your nervous system. Warmth tells your body, everything is okay. It’s like giving yourself the comfort and care you would if you were a young child. Don’t underestimate the power of a cozy environment to help ease you out of a frozen state.
Focus on Your Breath
Breathwork is one of the most powerful tools to use when you’re in freeze mode because the way you breath tells your body ‘we are safe’ or ‘we are not safe’. The 4-7-8 breathing technique (where you focus on a longer exhale) is a great place to start: inhale for 4 seconds, hold for 7, and exhale for 8. This kind of slow, controlled breathing sends a signal to your body that you’re safe.
Hum or Sing Your Way to Calm
Believe it or not, humming or singing can be an amazing tool to get yourself out of freeze mode too. Why? The vibrations from your voice stimulate the vagus nerve, which plays a big role in calming the nervous system and reducing the body’s stress response. You don’t need to be Beyoncé to benefit from this practice—just hum or sing softly to yourself, and let those vibrations work their magic in helping you feel more grounded and calm.
Rock for Regulation
Rocking your body gently from side to side taps into something primal and soothing. This simple, rhythmic movement reminds your nervous system of the safety and comfort you felt when being rocked as a child. Whether you're sitting, standing, or lying down, rocking for a few minutes can help your body shift out of freeze mode and into a more relaxed state. Put on your favorite song to make this more enjoyable.
Nourish Your Body and biology too
Finally, when your nervous system is in freeze mode, your body’s resources—like vitamins and minerals—can get depleted because your body has been draining everything it has to try and keep fighting against the stress. Focus on replenishing what’s been lost by nourishing your nervous system with nutrient-dense foods and targeted supplements can help during this period (but you should not self-supplement - always seek professional help before doing so). Magnesium, vitamin D, and B vitamins can help nourish your body with the vitamins and minerals they need and give your body the support it needs to heal. Try to focus on small, nourishing meals that help bring energy back into your body without overwhelming it.
Conclusion: Moving Out of Freeze Mode
Freeze mode can feel isolating, heavy, and impossible to break free from, but with gentle support and consistent care, your nervous system can heal and come back to ‘baseline’ where the mind, body and soul are functioning as they are meant to.
The key is to start small, be patient, and offer yourself compassion as you move through this process. Healing from chronic stress and nervous system dysregulation isn’t about forcing yourself out of freeze—it’s about slowly thawing and creating safety within your body.
Over time, with practices like deep breathing, gentle movement, and nourishing your body, you’ll notice your system becoming more resilient. Remember, you can't run a marathon overnight, and you can't expect to heal your nervous system overnight either. But with steady, compassionate care, you’ll gradually restore balance and feel more grounded, safe, and alive.
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