10 Things You Need to Know if You Want to Build REAL Confidence
I’m a holistic wellness coach, integrative health practitioner and therapy OBSESSOR so today I’m going to tell you about why I needed a lot more than ‘just therapy’ to really change how I feel about myself (although therapy is an incredible stat).
The truth? Confidence isn’t just about surface-level affirmations or quick fixes. True, lasting confidence stems from working with your subconscious mind—the part of your brain that controls 95% of your thoughts, behaviors, and reactions. In my experience, mirror affirmations and daily journaling are only a tiny part of rewiring self-esteem.
Self-esteem “represents the capacity to feel worthy of happiness and to be able to successfully address life challenges.” At its core, self-esteem is about self-respect, self-belief, self-kindness, and our sense of worthiness: the belief that we deserve things for our inherent core, essence, and nature.
Heavy emphasis on the ‘belief,’ because that is all self-esteem is: a belief that we are worthy, or we are not worthy. And with all beliefs, they can be shifted, shaped, molded, and changed. Here’s what you need to know if you want to build real confidence from the inside out:
1. The Subconscious Mind Controls 95% of Our Thoughts
Even when we think we’re in control, most of what we do is driven by subconscious programming. That’s why confidence issues can feel so hard to shake—they’re deeply rooted in your subconscious mind, showing up as the beliefs we’ve been talking about.
2. If You Feel 'Not Enough,' You Repeat This Belief Thousands of Times
The belief that "I'm not enough" or "She’s prettier than me" gets repeated unconsciously, day in and day out. Each time you think or feel it in your body, it reinforces itself. Imagine a ski slope getting deeper, more ingrained over time. These beliefs get stronger the more they are repeated.
3. Your Subconscious Clings to Familiar Insecurities
The subconscious mind sticks with what it knows, even if those thoughts and beliefs are harmful. It’s more comfortable staying in familiar insecurities than risking unfamiliar confidence—until you take deliberate steps to change that. Even if you hate not feeling great about yourself, some part of you feels safe in that space because it’s familiar.
4. Taking Control of Confidence Doesn’t Mean Forcing Feelings Away
Building confidence isn’t about forcing insecurities out of your mind. It’s about acknowledging their source and transforming them at the root cause level. Pushing feelings of low confidence away only buries them deeper in your subconscious, where they continue to hold power over you.
5. Faking It Till You Make It Doesn’t Work
The beliefs that hold us back from feeling great about ourselves often stem from childhood or early life experiences, including school. These experiences imprint themselves on your subconscious, blocking your ability to step into your most confident self. While faking it till you make it might work in the short term, it doesn’t rewire these beliefs at the core.
6. Therapy is Great, But It Can’t Do Everything
While therapy can help you understand your issues consciously, the deep work of releasing limiting beliefs happens at the subconscious level. That’s where somatic healing comes in, targeting the body and mind to release stored trauma and limiting beliefs.
7. Replacing Limiting Beliefs is Key
Releasing old, limiting beliefs is just the first step, but alchemizing them is most important. You need to replace them with empowering beliefs like "I am the prize" or "I am worthy of love just as I am." And this must be done directly within your subconscious mind. This reprogramming transforms how you see yourself and the world.
8. Somatic Healing Helps You Embody Worthiness
Confidence isn’t just a thought—it’s something you need to feel in your body and your nervous system. Somatic healing helps release the emotions and energy that have been keeping you stuck, allowing you to embody a sense of worthiness and confidence on a physical level.
9. Embodying Confidence Requires Using Your Body, Not Just Your Mind
Confidence isn’t just a mental game. The body holds onto past traumas and limiting beliefs, and somatic practices are key to releasing these stored emotions. This allows new, confident beliefs to take root in both your body and mind.
My Favorite Somatic Practices That Help Rewire the Subconscious Mind
Somatic Shaking
Somatic shaking helps release stored energy and trauma from the body, signaling to your nervous system that it’s safe to let go of the stress, trauma, and tension it’s held onto from the past. I’ve found that meditation never worked for me—but meditating after somatic shaking? It almost opens up a portal to actually feel and embody the way I really want to feel.
EFT Tapping
EFT tapping works by tapping on acupressure points while addressing limiting beliefs. This helps calm the nervous system and rewire your brain’s response to fear and stress, allowing you to replace old patterns with more confident ones. Think of it like little doors that allow the old beliefs to leave and make space for new beliefs to enter.
Deep Theta Visualizations
Deep theta visualizations put your brain into a theta state, which is highly receptive to reprogramming and accessing your subconscious mind. These visualizations help imprint new, empowering beliefs onto your subconscious, allowing you to embody confidence on a deep level.
Ready to Transform Your Confidence?
If you’re ready to take these practices further and start rewiring your subconscious mind for real confidence, join my free Confidence Queen 7-Day Confidence Challenge. This 7-day journey combines psychology, biology, and energetics and includes a live 90-minute workshop, as well as a 7-day email drip with 7 somatic practices. Expect EFT tapping, breathwork, and visualizations designed to break free from limiting beliefs and step into your most confident self.
The challenge is completely free, and you'll get daily practices delivered right to your inbox. Don’t miss this chance to start your transformation!
Your confident, empowered self is just 7 days away!
Love,
Louise
