10 ways to tell your friends you’re thinking about quitting alcohol or drugs

Once you have made the decision that you want or need to go sober (and this is for people that are not going through the traditional route of the AA support network, which, is a critical thing to explore if you feel like you can’t go on this journey on your own), then you need to get ready to share that with those around you.

I’m going to share some of the sound bytes that I shared with my friends, in case it helps you too. For me, it went something like this:

• Open the conversation gently -

  Hey guys, so, I wanted to talk to you about something that I have been thinking about for a while now. You more than anyone know I was pretty messed up when I was drinking all the time. I know maybe it didn’t seem it from the outside, but the repercussions from me drinking just weren’t great at all
  

• Reflect on drinking. Talk to them about the drivers behind the decisions that emotionally impacted you -

  You know how crazy bad my hangovers were. My hangovers are savage, I make really bad decisions when I’m drunk and I always seem to get pressured into situations that I didn’t want to be in. I felt like I was living on this crazy roundabout of weekends being a bit hectic - and then Monday would come back around again and it felt like I was on a rollercoaster that was never stopping On top of that, I just spend so much money when I drink and I also end up smoking and doing drugs and just doing things that generally I don’t find that fun anymore. When I look back, I actually got into some pretty traumatic situations over the years that we all just laughed off. In hindsight, they’re kinda not that funny after all.
  

• Don’t totally slate your past - remember the good times -

  So, I’ve realised that partying was a big part of my life for a long time, and we have had some of the funniest and most hysterical memories that I have ever experienced through us partying - [like that time that XYZ and XYZ]
  

• But reflect on how life changes -  

  But now I have started to realise that I think it’s time for me to switch it up and try something else and explore who I am without the partying and see if I can do it and see who I become without it for a while
  

• Be honest & reflect on how it might impact your friendship -

  I know this might be weird because we spend a lot of time drinking together - and it's basically how our social circle has fun together. I’m not going to pretend that things might be weird for us to navigate for a bit - but, as my friend, I’m explaining to you that I don’t love my relationship with alcohol and it's something that i'm looking to explore and maybe even re-write
  

• Tell your friends the parameters of your decision -

  To do this, I need to explore what it’s like for me to be sober, curious or just not drink for a while. I’m going to just start with a month and see how it goes [or explain that you have come to the conclusion that sobriety is the right decision for you] It doesn’t mean that I’m never going to drink again but for me, right now, it feels the right decision and I need your support, in fact, I would really appreciate it
  

• Explain what they can do to support you on this journey -

  Things aren’t gonna madly change. I totally want you to keep inviting me to things - and for sure, I’ll be there - but the dynamic just might change a bit if I’m honest. Like, I might not be able to make it until 5am in the morning anymore - but I’ll be there until I just can’t dance anymore! I’m never gonna be a debbie downer - I’m gonna be exactly the same *me* as I was before, just without the roller coaster ride - and just a bit more stability!

• And any other suggestions that might make the journey easier for you -

  So, I think it would be fun if we could organise some more stuff in the day - like go for lunch, rather than go for dinner? Or go to the gym, get a coffee, go for a walk, go to the cinema? You know, we don’t JUST have to hang out at night time - and maybe you guys could do with a bit more sleep once in a while too!

• And ask them not to pressure you -

  I know we are so used to drinking, but if you see me not drinking, please support me rather than pressuring me into drinking. This is gonna be a hard enough decision as it is and I’m looking forward to seeing who I am without the booze
  

• Finally, thank them, and tell them how excited you are about it.

  Thanks guys, I love you and I really really appreciate you supporting me on this. It means the world to me.

I hope this helps you!

Love Louise x